I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
