you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
