sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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