We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
