Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
