you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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