put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
