yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
