HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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