Sry I called you an 8
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
