i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
