What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
