She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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