It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
