i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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