That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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