I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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