how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Couch. On fire.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
