I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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