Do you still have your period?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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