just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
