Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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