If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
