Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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