Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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