I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
