Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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