what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
