i just wanna soil my oats bro
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
