I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
