Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
