no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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