i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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