Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
