Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
should my penis look like a turkey
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
