butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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