I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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