To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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