We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
