I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
