you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
whose ass print is on the piano?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
