I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
