Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
