Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i out mim tonsoeep
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
