I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
