I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
