just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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