Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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