i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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