i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
